I like my coffee the color of my skin – caramel, like a latte. Now that last sentence has nothing to do with the rest of this entry. Sue me.
I wonder if people understand that it’s not nice to call skinny people skinny. Growing up I heard the word skinny used to describe me all the freaking time. And I hated it every.single.time. In a time where “I like big butts” was the national black anthem; it wasn’t cool to be skinny. For years I NEVER wore skirts/dresses. I barely wore shorts and only did so because it would get so hot in the summer. And let’s even talk about Keds. Yall remember Keds, don’t act like you don’t. They made your feet look like they were boats. Boat feet + skinny legs = not cool.
I can’t recall the exact age I was, but I became determined to thicken myself up. Every morning before school, I would drink a chocolate shake, and throughout the day I would eat all of the junk food I could get my hands on. My mom packed my lunch every day. But in my eyes it was too healthy, so instead I “upgraded” to the not so healthy cafeteria food, praying that the scale would go above 110 lbs. Yet, no matter how hard I tried, I just could not gain weight. I had a slight break through when I started working at the local chicken joint and actually got up to 115. I was ecstatic!!!
Somewhere in between the 10th and 11th grade, I just stopped caring and realized I had the body I had and the only thing I could do was accept it. And it honestly became one of the most freeing experiences of my life. Over the years, I learned that when people made snide remarks such as, “Oh you’re so skinny. I just want to feed you”, they were actually projecting their own insecurities on me. And as much as I wanted to say back “Maybe you should actually do the opposite of eating”, I usually just smiled and said “Be careful, don’t let my size fool you. I will eat you out of a house and home. I just have a high metabolism”.
I don’t think I will ever have a scale in my house. I have a general idea of how much I weigh, but I refuse to be hung up on numbers. I love my body and have been taking steps to take better care of it because it’s the only one that I have. And oh yeah, I am also a slight exhibitionist.
ms80sbaby Said:
on March 12, 2010 at 3:55 pm
This is the truth!!!!! I hated being skinny……And my chicken legs are the worst!!!! They still are. I have gotten a few compliments on my legs and instead of saying thank you I’m like you like these chicken legs… But I’ve accepted them. My momma and daddy both have skinny legs so I’m stuck….
Oh and I’ve always wanted to be a thicky thick girl. I’ve drunk ensure and stayed eating potatos…..None of that worked. I was destined to be a skinny girl with big boobs…..
But then the weight hit me and came out of nowhere…. I was looking at pictures like ugh this thick girl weight ain’t cute on me.
I’ve gotten it together now and I’m pretty much back to my norm for my weight. And I’ve accepted that everybody ain’t meant to be a thicky thick girl. I’m okay with being a skinny girl with some curves
L.P. Said:
on March 15, 2010 at 11:18 am
Girl, work that body!
My sister is underweight by BMI standards (5’6 and 111 lbs) … and she started developing some slight insecurities lately. She is an A cup and didn’t want to wear a dress because her “boobs” didn’t feel it up…
I had to tell her to not let ANYBODY decide what you should look like but your dang self. Heck I am too thick for my own good and while I am working on it, I have to be able to accept it… or else I will just die.
Work them long legs Ms. V!