I’ve never observed Lent, but at the last minute, I decided to this year. What did I decide to give up, one may ask – why the snooze button!!! Yeah yeah I know the snooze button doesn‘t do one any good and that you don‘t get real sleep when you hit it. All of that doesn‘t matter because I‘m addicted to it like its name is crack!!
Now I would love to say that I have been successful and given it up. But I haven’t. What I HAVE been able to do is trick myself into getting up earlier in the morning. I set the alarm half an hour earlier than normal and only allow myself to hit the snooze twice versus the minimum four times I had been hitting it. And I’ve actually been getting up following along with a work out dvd. *gasp* I am surprised and ecstatic that thus far I have been able to commit to this new morning routine <del> never mind that I may miss a day or two throughout the week </del>. Not only that, but I reintroduced myself to the neighbor track/park this weekend.
On to Denise Austin aka The Bitch. In my quest to get fit, I decided that every week I would get a work out DVD from the library to mix in with the initial yoga video I used. I may even eventually work myself up to going to the gym, but for now it’s all about the baby steps. So on Saturday while at the library, I came across Denise Austen’s cardio workout video. Now this was my first time meeting Denise and I thought she looked perky and cute, as if she would make a great work out partner. That is until we got acquainted in my living room.
To begin with, Denise had a husky voice. One that made me briefly question whether Denise may have actually been Dennis in a previous life. And then <del> Dennis </del> Denise had the nerve to act as if I just knew what her next move would be. It’s like damn bytch, I just got the hang of this move and we’re on to the next one already. AND you want me to remember the past 4 moves that you rushed through, put them together to make a routine of them??? Oh hell naw. Just because you and your “workout friends” knew the routine ahead of time, doesn’t mean I know it. And don’t think I didn’t peep how you stole Jane Fonda’s routines. I used to watch my mama’s old JF’s videos and you are straight jacking her style. At one point I had the blinds open in the living room, but when I saw how ridiculous I looked trying to follow her, I quickly closed them. Ugh!
Denise Austin better hope I never see her in the streets, because we may end up fighting. Me and her will never be friends. Matter of fact, I’m trading her in tomorrow. Ol’ husky voice Jane Fonda wanna be. You can miss me with that bs!
